


Blind leading the blind

by alexeizenhart



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blindness, F/F, Not Beta Read, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-18 23:01:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29865381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexeizenhart/pseuds/alexeizenhart
Summary: A mostly blind Regina Mills is having a bad day; her guide dog runs off, is late for work and feeling a little alone.Enter Emma Swan, professional bail-bonds person; saviour of lost dogs and the lonely.(Yes, I was bored, and the plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone)
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Emma Swan, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 27
Kudos: 164





	1. In which the stage is set

Emma Swan, twenty-eight year old bail-bonds person, stood waiting for the crosswalk sign to change. Pulling her cell from the back pocket of her jeans, she thumbs through the various messages that had accumulated since she'd last checked not even an hour ago.

"Oh come on, really? Does anyone fall for that any more?" She asked herself under breath, dismissing yet another message for a service that promised to help meet that woman of your dreams.

Having already been late getting up, more spam than she should have to deal with before her first coffee, it was safe to say Emma wasn't in the best of moods when a cold wet nose was pressed against the palm of her free hand.

"Eww! Dude, control your mutt" She snatched her hand away and glares at the guy next to her, only to realise she was still waiting alone.

With a puzzled expression, she looks down sees the dog is an adorable chocolate Labrador and wearing a brightly coloured high-visibility harness. It is sitting on its haunches and giving her the classic head-tilt, bemused expression common to most dogs when humans are being weird.

"Uh... hi?" Emma puts her phone away and reaches out towards the dog, fingers curled in a loose fist. The dog leans forward and sniffs at her fingers, before deciding she was a nice human and nuzzles her hand with its head.

"Yeah... that's a good girl... er... boy... dog?" Encouraged at the lack of biting and still having her fingers intact, Emma strokes the dogs head and smiles.

"Oh you have a tag, let's see who owns you." Twisting the tag on the collar, she reads aloud. "Henry." The dog, Henry, barks at his name. "If alone, please find my human!" A cellphone number was also engraved.

Taking a good look around, Emma can't see anyone in obvious distress or trying to find a missing dog.

"Do you need help, Henry? Or does your mom?" Henry barks, takes a few steps away and stops to see if Emma will follow.

Shrugging, Emma follows him. "Ok Lassie, let's go and find Timmy that's stuck down the well."

~~~~~~~~ SQ ~~~~~~~~

Regina Mills was not having a good day.

To be honest, it wasn't even a good week. Monday she was almost late to work. Tuesday, she was on time (barely) but had managed to forget her cellphone at home. Wednesday was an improvement; no one insulted her (to her face) and she managed to not upset anyone in return, though the interns were still scared of her.

Unfortunately, that brought her to today. She'd missed her usual train, got bumped by several people and managed to get herself lost. Not a problem, if you can find a local to point you in the right direction. Or if you can see your surroundings clearly.

Several months ago, Regina had woken up with blurrier eyesight than usual. A trip to her regular optometrist quickly turned into a referral to a specialist. Dr Williamson ("call me George, please"), a laid-back, soft-spoken, white-haired man in his fifties, delivered the news in his consulting room overlooking a particularly nice part of Boston.

Her vision was failing, he'd said, probably something genetic. There were treatments, but the prognosis wasn't all it could be, and only likely to make things worse rather than better. Did he want to call someone for her? Friends, family?

Shaking her head, Regina politely thanked him and stood up. "No, you don't need to call... there's no one..." George, for his part, had never seen someone so composed before and didn't quite believe how calm his patient seemed to be as he escorted her out.

She was Regina Mills; a Mills never cried, or so they would have you believe. That resolve lasted until she returned home and closed her front door. Sliding down with her back against the door, she drew her knees up to her chest and wept.

After pitying herself for long enough, Regina stood up, dried her eyes and made plans. Mills were always good at making plans, as testified to by the number of companies she had taken over or seen ruined.

Thursday had a promising start. Her alarm worked, she managed not to throw coffee over herself, or the kitchen, and made it to the station on time with her new guide dog, Henry, leading the way. Then she got lost. A simple call on her cellphone would solve that... if it had charged up during the night.

Events went rapidly downhill from there. With blurred vision, she tried taking several turns and hoped to catch a familiar street name. Lady luck wasn't going to be on her side for this one. All of the local commuters knew where they were going and didn't say much, all too engrossed in their cellphones.

Some brainless office worker managed to knock her guide dog's handle loose and they got separated in the tide of people traversing the station. Despite calling for him, Henry didn't return immediately like he was trained to.

Finding a bench, Regina sat down and contemplated her options. Unable to navigate, with Henry now missing, getting more and more distressed, she felt the weight of her situation close in on her long enough to break her resolve. For first time since she was seven, Regina Mills cried in public.

A loud bark startled her. "Henry?" She asked uncertainly. The blurred shape of him appeared in front of her and she hugged him close. "I thought I'd lost you..."

"Hi" a woman's timid greeting was suddenly very close.

Fumbling for her purse, Regina pulled out her can of Mace and aimed it at the blond-blur. "Who the hell are you!? Stay back or else!" She warned.

"Uh... that's a can of hairspray, lady" The woman's voice sounded amused.

"It... it is?" Regina squinted at the can as closely as she could, before slumping on the bench when she realised it wasn't the Mace she was expecting.

With a rich chuckle, Emma tries to hide her smile before realising the brunette in front of her might not see it.

"Sorry, I can act all intimidated and nervous if that will help?"

Regina just sighs and slumps down, shaking her head. "No thanks, but I appreciate the offer."

"You're welcome. Guessing this is your human, right Hen?" Emma asks, looking at the dog.

"-You- found him?" Regina tried not to sound incredulous.

"More like he found me, and I wanted to make sure his mom was ok." Emma sits next to Regina on the bench, toying with the zip on her leather jacket to give her hands something to do. Taking in Regina's state, she asks. "Bad day?"

Regina had made an attempt to dry her tears and fix her make-up, but it apparently hadn't been very successful. "What gave it away?"

"Oh I'm sure everyone is having a great day when they break down in public, their guide dog runs away and finds someone to bring back to their hot mom..." Emma promptly tries to remove her foot from her mouth. "Er... I mean..."

Since this whole debacle of a Thursday had begun, Regina smiles and interrupts her rambling. "Am I a hot mom?" The lack of response is telling and she continues. "Do you have a thing for hot moms, dear?"

"Yes! I mean, no! That is..." Emma stumbles over her words, blushing furiously.

Having a little trouble, Emma tries to focus on something, -anything-, other than the beautiful woman sat next to her. "Coffee! Yes, would me like to you... I mean, would you like to coffee me..."

At this point, Regina is in full-blown, rib-clutching laughter.

"I'm screwing this up aren't I?" Emma asks dejectedly, looking at Regina.

"Maybe a little." She replies.

"Do you think we can start again?" Emma all but begs.

Regina chuckles and holds out her hand in the blonde's direction. "Hi, I'm Regina."

"I'm Emma, nice to meet you." Her hands are warm and dry.

"and you, Em-ma." Regina drawls.

Emma blushes brighter. "Ok that's so not fair."

"What's not fair, Em-ma?" Regina drags out Emma's name deliberately, trying to adopt an innocent expression. She might not have been able to see it clearly, but she could tell her voice was having an effect.

"That! Th-that sex voice. You... you..." Emma threw her hands up in frustration.

Taking pity on the blonde, Regina pets Henry's head and relents. "Sorry, you're just so easy to fluster. How about we go for that coffee? I should have been in the office long before now, but I think they'll survive without me for a few hours."

"Won't the boss fire you?" Emma asks, looking concerned.

"I -am- the boss, dear" Regina chuckles, standing and straightening her outfit.


	2. In which our cast expands and there's a non-date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After such a positive response, I'm continuing the story. As I've commented; there's no grand storyline and I'm not a writer by trade, so don't expect anything epic :)

"Y-you own your own company?" Brain somewhat short-circuited, Emma struggles for a moment while she stands up from the bench, trying to comprehend the notion of a beautiful, successful (if her clothes were anything to go by), -blind- CEO. Perhaps judging a book by its cover was the wrong way to go after all.

"Surprised?" Regina asks, smirk firmly in place.

"But you're blind." Emma gains points for observation, but her foot is still firmly in her mouth.

"And?" is the amused rejoinder. "Does that make me suddenly less intelligent? Besides, this is a new... development in my life." Regina loses a little of her smirk at the reminder of her failing vision.

For her part, Emma looks a little chagrined at bringing up an unhappy topic and tries to change it.

"Definitely time for that coffee, and bear claws! I know just the place; ever heard of Granny's?" Enthusiasm, thy name is Emma. Though if she continued her diet of caffeine and pastries, she'll either have to start working out or start losing bail-jumpers.

Stepping next to Regina, she offers her arm to hold. "Would it be too forward of me to offer a hand?" Emma is quick to add. "Not that I think you need one or anything!"

"How chivalrous of you dear, most people just grab me and then wonder why I then cut them off at the knees. Granny's it is." Is the response, with a warm smile.

~~~~~~~~ SQ ~~~~~~~~

"Hi! Welcome to Granny's. Take a seat wherever." The leggy brunette waitress gestures to the mostly empty diner. Evidently they'd missed early morning rush, but it wasn't quite yet time for the lunch crowd. 

The "Nice to see ya again, Em" is accompanied by a wink and a big smile.

"Oh uh, hey, Ruby." Emma looks a little nervous at how friendly Ruby is being, but squeezes herself into an empty booth. It's like not like they're on a date, right?

"I'll give you guys a minute to yourselves to get settled." She totters away, heels clicking loudly against the linoleum floor.

Emma really tries her best not to watch her walk away "Thanks, Rubes." 

For her part, Regina seems amused at "Em's" audible discomfort and perches herself on the seat with all the grace of a queen on her throne, not a worn fake leather booth. She reaches down and unfastens the harness from around Henry, giving him the signal he's off-duty and free to rest. With a soft huff, he curls up next to Regina and rests his head on his paws.

"Friend of yours?" Her question to Emma is a little deadpan, and perhaps with just the tiniest hint of the green-eyed monster.

Focusing on Regina, Emma relaxes in her seat with the table between them and nods. "Ruby? We go way back, been friends for a while now." Realising what might have prompted the question, Emma tries to clarify. "Just friends though! Not anything more, that would just be wrong... she's cute but we're more like cousins... er sisters!" 

Methinks the lady doth protest too much; Regina makes an educated guess and gives Emma a little rope to play with. "If you say so, dear. Is she is quite attractive?"

Emma attempts the impossible and tries to get both feet in her mouth in one day, responding without thinking through her answer and nodding. "Yeah, she is..."

As Emma's face turns a lovely shade of scarlet at the realisation of what she's just said, Regina lets out what could only be described as a -cackle-.

"Oh man, just put me out of my misery and kill me now..." Emma does her best to merge with the seat cushion in the vain hope it might save her embarrassment, hiding her face in her hands. She reluctantly looks up at Regina. "Has anyone ever told you that you're evil?"

"Not to my face, no, but I'm sure they call me that behind my back." Regina feels oddly proud that she can be called that and not want to eviscerate the speaker instantly. 

"Wait, people do call you evil? And not in a fun way?" Emma looks surprised at the nod she gets in response.

"I'm not exactly a nice person, dear. More than one person has had their happiness, and usually their career, destroyed because of me. I'm well acquainted with the nickname my staff have for me, though they're convinced they've kept it a secret." Regina gives an inelegant snort at the stupidity. 

"Can I ask what it is?"

"Of course you -can-, but I'm guessing you meant to say 'may I ask' instead of 'can I ask'." Regina's smirk is back, along with a healthy dose of sass.

"Ugh... fine! May I ask what your staff call you, your grammatical highness?" Petulance wins against chivalry, this time.

"You're not far off already dear; they call me" Straighten spine, shoulders back and a small pause for effect. After all, phrasing is everything and first impressions count. "The Evil Queen."

"Seriously?" Emma's expression is doubtful. "Why on earth would they call you that?"

Ruby chooses this moment to interrupt and comes back to their table, pad in hand and pen at the ready. "What can I get for you guys?"

"My usual please, Ruby." Emma's tastebuds overwrite her common sense, some of her self-preservation and take a vote on forming a union against healthy foods.

"Grilled cheese, onion rings and a chocolate 'shake. Got it. And for you?" Ruby turns to Regina. 

"Chicken Caesar salad? Or something like it? And a black coffee, please." Regina's expression is hopeful, but internally bracing herself for being stuck with a burger.

"Sure, we can do that. Anything else? 'Kay, gimme a shout if you guys need something." She totters off to the kitchen to deliver their order. 

Ruby returns shortly after with their drinks. "Food'll be a few minutes."

"Cool, thanks Rubes."

"Yes, thank you Ruby."

"You're welcome guys, see you in a few." Ruby totters back behind the counter again, and starts reading something on her cellphone.

Reaching out to the white blur that is hopefully her coffee and not the sugar, Regina wraps her fingers around what turns out to be the mug. Taking a sip, she hums in approval.

"Ok, the 'evil' part I can understand, but where does the 'queen' part come from? Are you like super snooty or something?" Emma's burning curiosity has gotten her into more than one scrape and it hasn't diminished in the slightest.

Regina waits until Emma has taken a sip of her 'shake before responding completely deadpan. "It's from the term 'queening'; my favourite sexual position."

As she expected, Emma ends up wearing most of her drink and starts coughing heavily.

"Oops?" Regina's expression would be angelic, if the angel in question had been disbarred for misbehaviour.

"T-that... *cough* wasn't funny!" Emma eventually manages to splutter, ineffectually trying to wipe at the spots of milkshake that now decorate her top with a napkin.

"How thoughtless of me, I do apologise." Her delivery is somewhat dry and far too amused. 

"As a real answer to your question, it's probably a play on words; my name means 'queen'. Along with my general demeanour and appearance, I'm very exacting and demand the best of my staff. It's not exactly a huge leap of imagination to connect the two."

"So, your people aren't very clever at nicknames?"

"In a word, nope." Regina just shrugs. "And what is it you do, dear? Other than rescuing 'hot moms'."

Emma groans and rests her head on folded arms on the table. "You're not going to let that go anytime soon, are you?"

The cackle is back, though not as loud. "Mm not yet, no. It's made my day so far."

"You really -are- evil. It's no secret what I do; I hunt down bail-jumpers."

They continue making small talk until their meals arrives, the smell of fried food permeating the air.

Emma takes a big bite of her grilled cheese, causing Regina to smile. "How do you eat like that and have such a good figure? Since that's your 'usual'." 

"You noticed, huh? I exercise, and chasing jumpers does involve leg-work, literally."

For her part, Regina turns a little red but continues as if talking about something mundane. Holding Emma's forearm on the walk to the diner had left an impression of leanness regarding the blonde. "I'm not -completely- blind dear and my other senses work perfectly well. Besides, part of my job is being observant."

"Observant, huh? And what else have you 'observed' about me?"

Blushing a little brighter, Regina fidgets with the handle of her mug and continues. "Well, you're evidently a kind person; you brought Henry back to me instead of just abandoning him."

"He's a dog, couldn't just leave him... he could have been hurt." Emma returns, with a shrug.

"You'd be surprised at how many people would do exactly that, and without a second thought." A frown crosses Regina's face before she can hide it. She reaches down and strokes Henry's head affectionately, rubbing behind his ears.

"Besides, it was obvious someone loved him very much."

Regina looks at Emma in surprise. "How can you tell that?"

The blonde shrugs. "His condition; coat is healthy, nails were clipped and his eyes are bright and clear. Strays wouldn't look like that."

"Now who's being observant?" Regina smiles as she pokes at her salad..

"It's kinda my job too. The little details are what usually helps me catch jumpers. Though most are a bit..." Emma pauses to find the most appropriate word.

"Dense?" Regina supplies. 

"Yeah. I wanted to say idiots, but that wouldn't be fair... to idiots. You'd be surprised how many I catch with the dumb-blonde act." Emma sips on her 'shake, stirring it with the straw.

"How so, dear? You don't mean to tell me you pick up bail-jumpers in bars?"

Emma's grimace and telling pause is enough to confirm she does exactly that. "Ok, I won't tell you then."

"You're not serious? These people are out on bail, decide to skip and their first thoughts are to have a drink and get -laid-?" Regina's expression is incredulous and matches her tone.

"Yep. At least, the guys usually do; they're thinking with their 'heads'. The girls, not so much, but they do like a drink, and can be bitchy if they've drunk enough." Emma grimaces again from the memory of several women she'd gotten into a knock-down fight with. The bartender at 'The Rabbit Hole' still gave her evil looks for that one.

"I suppose this means you have to get up close, and personal, with your... targets? From time to time."

"Marks, and yeah, sometimes. Depends on how co-operative they're being. Wanna see my handcuffs?" Emma smirks.

"Of course not! There's no need to be crude; I was just... curious." Regina's blush is back in force.

"Aw, I thought you might have been interested, since you said you liked being on top and all..." The devil sitting on Emma's shoulders has successfully pinned the angel down for a three-count and is making the most of it.

Regina squirms her hips a little and huffs, finishing her now cold coffee. "I don't see how that applies." She definitely wouldn't like to hear what Emma might do, no, not at all.

Emma just chuckles and relents, the angel managing to convince the referee the pin didn't count and wanted a rematch. "If you say so, 'Gina."

"Re-gi-na; three syllables dear. Not 'Gina'. Have you had too much sugar you've forgotten my full name? already" Sass in place, blushing to a minimum.

"But 'Gina is cuter!" Emma's is eager to prove her point.

"Mh hm. And what about me suggests I'm 'cute'?" The venom Regina tries to put into the word is somewhat marred when Henry takes it upon himself to push his head onto Regina's lap, causing her expression to soften as she idly pets him.

"As fun as this has been, I really should head to the office. As much as I trust my staff to be competent, I still need to actually show up and do my own work."

Emma's childlike-pout is mostly unseen and she crosses her arms in front of her. "That's a shame, but I need to get some stuff done too." Thoughts of her untidy apartment and the need to buy groceries surface. "Would you like to do this again? I mean, without the losing Henry first, part?"

Focusing on the slight uncertainty in Emma's voice, Regina gives her a warm smile and nods. "I'd love to." She digs her phone out from her purse and unlocks it with her thumb print, offering it to Emma to add herself as a contact.

"You trust me with your phone, just like that? I could perv all your dirty secrets."

Regina chuckles and nods. "There's nothing incriminating or embarrassing on there, dear. And if there were, you'd only have yourself to blame for finding it."

Adding herself as a contact, Emma smirks and enters her cellphone number, handing it back to Regina.

"hey Siri, call Emma."

Her cellphone refuses. "I'm sorry, I don't know who that is."

Regina frowns and tries again, getting the same response. "You did add yourself as contact, yes?"

"Yep" Emma pops the 'p'.

With a raised eyebrow, Regina tries a third time and is again refused. At this point, she can hear Emma sniggering in the background and a lightbulb goes off in her mind.

"Emma dear, -who- did you add yourself as?"

Unable to control herself any longer, Emma just starts giggling madly but manages to get "my saviour" out. 

Sighing and shaking her head, Regina tries for a fourth time. "You are such a child. Hey Siri, call my saviour."

After a moment's delay, Emma's cellphone starts blaring out a classic rock power ballad. She declines the call and saves the new number to her list of contacts.

"Do I want to know what name you've saved -me- as?" Regina leans down to fasten the harness back around Henry and stows her cellphone back in her handbag, hunting for her purse.

"Uhm... no?"

Regina pauses in her search and sighs again. "It's 'Evil Queen', isn't it?"

"How can you think so little of me?" Emma huffs and tries for an indignant tone. Regina just smiles. "Does that make it any less true, dear?" 

Putting her own cellphone away, Emma's pout is back but she nods. "Ok, yeah I did."

"Child. Though, coming from you, it's quite endearing, I suppose." Regina smiles warmly and stands, whispering to Henry to guide her to Ruby.

"Oh no, I'm paying. This was my idea after all." Emma protests Regina trying to pay for them both.

"If you insist, 'my saviour'. Though I feel I should pay, since I did manage to dirty your top." The milkshake spots stand out against Emma's plain grey tank top.

Emma does a wavy hand motion. "Eh. Don't worry. It's seen worse, believe me."

After a few more minutes good-natured arguing over the bill, Emma prevails with an argument that queens should not have to pay when an honourable knight was available. Naturally, Regina used this to point out that knights wouldn't be adorned in red leather and should be mounted on a white charger.

Following a slightly awkward hug, they reluctantly part company.

Sat in a taxi on her way to the office, Regina looks down at Henry. "Well, it looks like we've made a new friend."


	3. In which we meet the villain of the piece

For the next few weeks, they continue to send messages as if they'd been friends for years, not days.

MySaviour: "u bsy?"

TheEvilQueen: "yes, I'm at work. Shouldn't you be too?"

While Emma delighted in using txt speak, Regina abhorred it and used proper English. Though that might have more to do with dictating her messages to her phone and letting it do all the hard work.

MySaviour: "Tlng mrk. Wtng 4 guy 2 shw"

Sitting in her office, Regina frowns at her phone as it finished speaking the latest message from Emma aloud. "She's tilling murk? Is that some sort of new euphemism?"

Not for the first time, Regina has to puzzle out what Emma means after her phone spits out almost-random letters at her. 

"She's a bail-bonds person, so she'll be hunting for jumpers. No, wait, she called them 'marks'. She's tilling a mark? Ah, she's -tailing- a mark." She thinks to herself. 

Regina rolls her eyes, thinking this would be so much easier if Emma used whole words. She continues working out the message.

"Wetting for a guy to shoe? That can't be right, and it sounds far too sordid. No, she's waiting, not wetting. Waiting for a guy to -show-. Oh honestly." Sighing and pinching the bridge of her nose, Regina tries to ease the headache brewing from spending all morning squinting at her laptop.

She dictates another message to Emma, idly wondering if the blonde chose words that she knew her phone would garble just to annoy her.

TheEvilQueen: "Focus on your job, dear. Or do you want to lose another jumper?"

While Emma was quite good at catching marks, she seemed to have an unlikely amount of bad luck from time to time. It was something of a sore point for her, but she didn't seemed to mind the occasional jibe from Regina about it.

"Excuse me, Miss Mills? Your eleven o'clock appointment is here." Belle, her assistant, poked her head around the door to her office.

"Already? Thank you dear, please show Mr Jones in." Trying to suppress a groan, she plastered an almost natural smile on her face. If it was a bit plastic around the edges, Killian Jones didn't seem to notice as he lingered over shaking her hand.

Whilst not as bad as some she'd encountered in her years in the publishing business, he was definitely a ladies man, or at least he liked to think he was. The loss of his hand in a motorbike accident almost a decade before had given him his nickname of 'Hook'.

"Good afternoon, Mr Jones." Rescuing her hand, she gestures for him to take a seat. Henry lying at rest on his oversized pillow, looked up briefly at the interloper to Regina's office. Finding nothing of interest and settled down again with a huff.

"Oh love, it's Killian, as I keep reminding you. We know each other well enough by now."

In the few scant business meetings they'd had over the course of the last year, Regina had been invited out on several dates by the man, refusing every time. She idly wondered if a short, sharp shock, say introducing the decorative glass paperweight to his head, would give him a clue that she wasn't interested in him. Or men in general, for that matter.

As always she gave her usual response to him. "Sorry Mr Jones, but I like to keep things professional when I'm working."

The paperweight was shaped like an apple and deep red in colour. More than once Regina had found herself holding it in her hands, running her fingers over it while thinking about some complex problem. It was definitely far more valuable than the dent it would put in Jones' skull. Pity.

For his part, Killian just smirks and nods. "As you wish, love."

"Now, from what I've been told, several of our authors want to change publishers from us to you? And that a few of yours wish to join us?" Regina pretends to consult the notes on her desk; an excellent memory is essential when your vision isn't all it could be. Feigning ignorance never hurts when bargaining either.

"Aye, I mean, yes. Seems quite amicable enough to me. We gain a few, you gain few, neither of us are out of pocket on the deal. Pity you wouldn't agree to a partnership between us. Our firms, I mean."

Without a shadow of a doubt, Regina knows he's not talking about their companies. Maybe she could throw something less valuable at him to get him to take the hint, though that might then involve lawsuits. Some things just aren't worth the jail time.

"Mills Publishing has been independent since its creation, Mr Jones. I'm not about to change it now. Anyway, the deal you propose seems agreeable."

Though she couldn't see him clearly, Killian looked delighted. "Brilliant, love, I knew you'd agree."

Regina's smile becomes wicked, though doesn't turn green nor gain a broadway musical. "Pity I won't be signing off on it."

"You what!?" Jones' smile tries to escape his face, unwilling to be a part of the upcoming fight and nervous about being injured.

Trying not to cackle, Regina continues. "Oh I'm sorry, was I not being clear? As it stands, the deal is finished, dead."

"But, but -why-?" He splutters.

"You would be gaining several top authors and we would be getting, what was it..." Another pretend consultation of the notes. "Ah yes, the 'dregs and worthless scum'." Note to self; give Belle a hefty raise for finding that quote and make sure company emails are scrubbed before they go offsite.

Killian's jaw worked for a moment as he struggled to contain his fury. He stood up and loomed over Regina's desk. Unfortunately, the desk was too wide for his height to loom effectively and it made him appear to be having trouble standing without support. A loom is not to be approached without practise and setup is key to achieving a good loom.

"You... you... You utter bitch! You haven't heard the last of this!" The door slams behind his hasty departure.

After a few moments, Belle pokes her head in again. "Meeting went as expected then?"

"Indeed it did, dear." Reclining back in her chair, Regina's smile just widens. "Please inform security that Mr Jones or his associates are no longer welcome on the premises."

Belle's cute little giggle spills from the doorway. "Did that before I came in, boss. He uhm..." She trails off, mumbling something.

Regina leans forward with a frown. "He didn't do anything to you did he?" Evil Queen or not, misogyny wasn't tolerated at her company, from staff or visitors.

"No no! Nothing like that, it's just I *ahem* might have forgotten to validate his parking?" Belle engages in a staring contest with the floor.

"Oh Belle... you didn't..." Regina closes her eyes and shakes her head, cackling quietly. The fee for using their lot was just short of extortionate. She has a sudden thought. "And I'm sure you wouldn't have informed security of a suspicious car parked in our lot either..."

Belle turns a little red and fidgets with her hands, her tone hopeful. "Not that anyone outside the company could prove?"

"We really don't pay you enough, dear." Shaking her head at Belle's antics, she dismisses her to continue with her work.

After nearly an hour, several emails and one coffee, Regina's phone announces an incoming call from Emma.

Answering it, she's greeted with a cheerful "Hi Queeny!"

"Why do you insist on calling me that?" Regina grumbles good-naturedly. 

"Aww don't you like it?" She could hear Emma's pout over the phone. "If you must, dear. How's your day so far? Did you catch your mark?"

Emma curses quietly not quite under breath in response, causing Regina to chuckle. "I'll take that as a no."

"Yeah, the bastard got away, but I know where he's gone. I feel the need for comfort food, my ego is bruised and needs some TLC. Wanna join me for lunch?"

Regina laughs into the phone. "Do you only think with your stomach?"

"Not -all- the time!" Emma pretends to be offended.

"Yes, just most of the time, dear. Alright, we'll do lunch. How about here, my office? I won't be able to duck out as usual, but we can order take-out." The two had been meeting for non-dates at lunch time several times, but this was the first time Regina had offered to host Emma.

There is a distinct pause. "Emma?"

"Uh, still here" Suddenly uncertain, Emma was nervous. "We can do something else if you'd prefer?" Regina offers.

"N-no, your office is fine. I just need to... uh, skip home first. Not what you call presentable." Emma fidgets with her phone, leaning against a building next to the sidewalk to avoid being bumped by foot traffic.

Regina tries to reassure her. "You're not coming for an interview dear, whatever you're wearing will be fine."

"You've imagined what I'm wearing?" Of course Emma would pick up on that.

With a slight blush, Regina just chuckles. "Perhaps, though your mind seems to be on food and sex. Are you sure you're not male, dear?"

"Hey! I resemble that remark! No, wait... uh... I mean..." Regina is now laughing loudly in her ear. 

"You're terrible." Emma grumbles into the phone, blushing herself.

"Evil dear, evil. See you soon?"

With a quiet "yeah, see you soon." Emma hangs up and opens the map on her phone, waiting for it to find her location. She taps her foot while it then finds the fastest route between her and Regina's office. Half an hour, maybe longer, if she's unlucky, wonderful.

A quick message to Regina later, she leans out into the street and hails a taxi.

~~~~~~~~ SQ ~~~~~~~~

"Miss Mills? There's an Emma Swan here to see you, but she doesn't have an appointment." A knock at the door precedes Belle this time, evidently wanting to show off for Regina's visitor. 

Sitting up and stretching her back, Regina smiles at Belle. "That's alright dear, she's joining me for lunch. Show her in, please."

The sound of high heels clacking against the floor has Regina look up. Rubbing her eyes, she isn't quite sure she's believing what she's seeing. "Are you wearing... pink?" She squints at Emma, trying to coax her eyes into focusing.

Emma sits on her chair, trying to pull her short skirt a bit further down her legs and the top further up her chest. "Maybe?" She puts her clutch purse down on Regina's desk.

"I can still see things dear, even if they're blurred."

With a huff, Emma replies a little defensively. "Yeah, ok, it's pink. What's wrong with that?" Uh oh. Don't say how cute it is, or how adorable she looks in it. Danger Gina Robinson, danger!

"Oh nothing dear, it looks very... nice." The Evil Queen perched on her shoulder rolls her eyes, while the Regina on the other adjusts her glasses to get a better look.

"Your secretary gave me the stink eye, probably thought I was here for more than lunch. It does help sell the 'ditzy blonde' routine and catch marks." Somewhat placated at not being mocked, Emma explains.

Regina blushes at the thought of something 'more than lunch', but rallies superbly and covers it with a smirk. "By throwing yourself at them?"

Over the initial hurdle, Emma sits back and lets her tense shoulders relax. "Yeah, it works a little too well, but it gets me close enough to 'cuff 'em." 

Henry has woken up and noticed Emma. He moves closer and puts his head on her lap, knowing he'll get some fuss and maybe treats. "Sorry Hen, no treats today." They both watch in amusement as he flounces back to his bed, flopping onto it with an aggravated huff.

"I'm guessing you don't keep your handcuffs somewhere in that." Regina says, squinting at Emma's dress. It certainly didn't look like the blonde had much room to manoeuvre.

Emma chuckles and shakes her head. "I tried keeping them in my bra but they weren't exactly subtle to reach for, and they were way too cold on my... Uhh yeah, anyway, I keep them in my handbag. You seem really interested in them, anything you wanna tell me?"

Regina does her best not to fidget. She honestly hadn't given them much thought, not at all. Not even late at night, alone (well, apart from Henry) at home with nothing more than her podcasts and far too an active imagination. It's not like they were that interesting. 

The Evil Queen on her shoulder takes it upon herself to demonstrate to Good Regina exactly what was so interesting about handcuffs, and their uses in the bedroom... 

"You're thinking about them now, aren't you?" She could just hear the smirk in Emma's tone. The figures on her shoulder disappear abruptly in a cloud of purple smoke.

"N-o?" Regina's voice cracks on the single word and she clears her throat. " *ahem* I mean, no! I'm not."

Emma chuckles. "It's ok to be curious, you know. Most people are." She reaches for her clutch and takes out a pair of black anodized steel handcuffs.

Blinking, Regina looks surprised at seeing their colour; she was expecting bright and shiny, like chrome. She squints at them. "They're black, not silver?"

"Oh, yeah. Less likely to attract attention, both from marks and joe public." Emma fiddles with the ratchets, making them click loudly in the relatively quiet office.

From their previous encounters for lunch, Emma knows Regina is an intensely private person; convincing her to open up is the last thing she wants to do. She waits patiently for her to make the first move.

After a few moments, as if it means absolutely nothing, Regina nonchalantly holds out her hand. "May I see them, please?"

Emma bites down hard on her lip and places them in Regina's hand. "Sure, here." Keep it together Em; don't laugh at her or seem interested. She just wants to see them. To distract herself, she pulls out her phone and starts looking through the options they have for lunch.

"Ohh, they're ice cold. No wonder you don't want to hide them somewhere on you." Regina hefts them in her hand to test the weight and plays with the ratchet. She giggles a little as it spins all the way through.

Regina looks at Emma, focusing enough to see the blonde is using her phone and not watching what she's doing. Taking a deep breath, she snaps one cuff around her wrist, then the other.

"Ooops, how careless of me." That was a normal tone of voice right? Nothing to see here, move along...

Looking over, Emma puts a white-knuckled grip on her phone, threatening to break it. "Uh... Regina?" She doubts pinning Regina to desk would make the brunette very happy. Well, maybe it would, but it probably wouldn't be worth the anger afterwards. Keeping her increasingly naughty thoughts to herself, she gulps.

Regina holds her wrists up, gently trying to tug the cuffs apart. "I seem to have gotten a bit careless, would you help me out, please?"

There is a very loud pause.

"Emma... you can unlock these, yes?" Regina's smile falters.

"Yeah, sure, I can. With the key, that I'm totally sure is in my bag." And not safely on the chain hanging up next to her front door at home, she didn't say aloud.

Lowering her wrists, she does her best to glare in Emma's direction. "Em-ma..." She drawls.

Adopting an innocent expression, Emma smiles. "Yes?"

"Unlock me, right now!"

"Uhm..." Regina growls and stomps around her desk, stopping short. Emma looks nervously at the bundle of rage standing in front of her and asks weakly "Got a paperclip?"


	4. In which Emma fixes her mistake

After a strained conversation with Belle regarding their lunch order, Emma perches on Regina's desk and sets to work with a bent paperclip. 

"How did you forget to bring the key with you?" Removing her hands from under her desk where she'd hidden them from casual view, Regina is none too pleased with the blonde.

"It's not usually a problem! Cops carry them all the time and I usually drop marks off at the nearest station... It just didn't occur to me, I guess." Emma holds the cuff in one hand while working the paperclip on the other, trying to ignore the irate brunette.

On the plus side, Regina's hands were cuffed in front of her. Unfortunately, that also gave her an ample opportunity to strangle Emma if she wanted to. Maybe she could convince Belle to help her hide the body if she were offered a big enough raise.

Several loud knocks startle them both, before the door swings open and Belle walks in carrying several take-out boxes. "Lunch is here, Miss Mills." 

Regina snatches her hands away from Emma and rests them on her lap out of sight, hoping Belle hadn't seen what was happening as she walked towards the coffee table near the window.

Putting the boxes down, Belle noticed both women looked a bit tense. "Everything ok, boss?"

"Y-yes, thank you Belle. Feel free to go for your lunch and take a bit longer if you'd like. You deserve it, and more, for handling Jones so well."

"Cool, thanks boss, I will. Just so you know, if you two want to play kinky games in the office, remember the walls aren't all that soundproof." Leaving Emma and Regina with their jaws dropped, Belle heads out.

Regina's glare returns and she directs it at Emma. "I'm not going to live this down, no thanks to you."

"It's not my fault you were curious." Emma protests. "Besides, there's nothing wrong with a little spice in your love life." She gives the chain the barest tug, clinking the two cuffs together.

Turning bright red, Regina bites her lip to hold in a gasp. "N-no, that's true. Now get these off me!"

"Yes, your Majesty." Emma's tone is mocking, but she manages to get one cuff undone in short order. "At least you can eat lunch now... or I could chain you to the desk."

"Don't. You. Dare." Regina hisses, holding the loose cuff before Emma can grab it. Emma huffs good-naturedly and mutters something about spoiling her fun.

Finally free of the cuffs, Regina thrusts back towards Emma's hands. "At last, now put these away before I use them on -you-."

"Aw, you promise?" Emma flutters her eyelashes at her, though the effect is somewhat lost as a blurry wobble to Regina's eyes.

Regina just growls at the now giggling blonde and stomps her way to the coffee table. Groping for the take-out box, she opens it to find her usual and smiles. Emma joins her on the sofa and does the same. "Grilled cheese, awesome!"

The obscene moan that comes from the blonde's mouth has Regina blushing before she can take a bite of her salad. "Seriously, this is better than Granny's... just don't tell Ruby I said that."

Sitting back, Regina just chuckles at Emma's antics. "You do know fried food isn't a food group, dear?"

Emma pretends to be offended. "It is so! Along with fatty foods and sugary foods. Now hush before you hurt my lunch's feelings."

Rolling her eyes, Regina just shakes her head. "I've said it before; child."

"But you like me anyway."

~~~~~~~~ SQ ~~~~~~~~

Finally managing to get Emma out of her office so she can continue with her work, Regina sits at her desk and squints at her laptop. Even with the font set much higher than normal, it's still a slow process to actually get anything done.

Belle returned from lunch not long after Emma's departure and made a show of sniffing the air in Regina's office, much to her consternation. "Emma is just a friend."

"Sure boss, whatever you say." Belle's tone conveys how much she believes that.

"She is! She's just... " Trailing off, Regina tries to think of an adequate word to describe the complex package that is Emma Swan. 

Belle jumps in with both feet, and wading boots. "Sexy, attractive, funny, an attentive lover? Am I getting close, boss?"

"Belle! We're not... she's not..." Regina realises Belle is playing her, again. "You've been at the pile of discarded romance novels again, haven't you?"

"No?" Regina sees her 'no' and raises her by 'one imperious eyebrow'.

Belle manages to last all of a few seconds before she folds. "Ok, maybe one or two... but some of them are really good!"

With a haughty sniff, Regina replies. "If you say so dear, but they're discarded for a reason. And stay out of my love life."

"But you haven't got one, boss; I'm your assistant and I'd know if you did. Besides, she's been really good for you." Regina pauses in the act of finding something soft to hurl at her and looks back towards Belle, her expression one of curiosity.

Taking that as an invite to continue, Belle explains. "You seem... happier I guess. No one's been fired lately." Regina snorts. "Ok, no one's been fired for, and I quote, 'wasting your precious time by breathing'. We're still getting 'anonymous' hate mail from that guy by the way. Pity he was also hitting on anything in a skirt, he might still have a job if he'd kept it in his pants."

The smile climbs back onto Regina's face, quite happy to be taking part in proceedings after studying for some time to become a good smile. While she regretted having to fire people, there were some exceptions and the memory of firing Robin Locksley always gave her a lovely warm feeling.

Was she happier? It's true she hadn't taken anyone's head off for a while.

Given a gentle dismissal of "Thank you Belle, that will be all for now." Belle leaves Regina in a thoughtful state of mind. Sitting at her own desk outside Regina's office, she really hopes Emma turns into something more than 'just friends' to her boss.

~~~~~~~~ SQ ~~~~~~~~

Having finished her work for the day (score one to Emma, jumper nil), she heads back to her apartment. A night of binging on Netflix and junk food sounded so appealing. 

While she'd bagged Jack Roberts, her mark, the idiot decided a foot race through a crowded street market was a superb escape plan. 

Running while trying to see whom was chasing you had resulted in his collision with 'tiny' Bob Blaskowski, owner / operator of one of the hot pie stalls. A well-made man of over six feet tall and three-hundred pounds of flesh, he was quite amiable unless provoked. 

Before the unfortunate runner could hit the floor, Bob had grabbed him by the shirt while Emma slowed to a jog as she got closer. Bob just gave a deep chuckle at seeing her. "Shoulda known 'e'd be one o' yers, Em! What's 'e done?"

Having run, quite literally, into Bob before ("No 'ard feelings, girl. Didn't feel a thing!"), she'd found him a gentle soul and more than happy to lend her a hand.

Resting her hands on her knees to get her breath back, she explains. "Fraud... and tax... *wheeze* evasion." If all her marks kept doing this, she was seriously going to have to cut back on the bear claws.

"Hur hur, nothin' more certain than death 'n taxes. Long as 'e ain't been beatin' on wimmin" He has a growl that would have the native tribe living on a volcano looking nervous and eyeing up their list of potential sacrifices. "or kiddos."

Standing up straight, she cuffs the unlucky Roberts. "Nah, white-collar criminal this one, Bob. Owe you one, again."

"Not like they're 'ard ta stop." The mountain of a man just chuckles. "And you know yer credit's no good 'ere."

Leaning up on tip-toes, she presses a kiss to Bob's cheek, making the man grin. "Thanks Bob."

"Yer makin' me blush. Go on with ya girl, get 'im where 'e belongs." 

She'd dragged Roberts to the nearest police station, claiming the bounty and leaving with a hefty cheque tucked safely in her pocket.

Climbing the stairs, she unlocks her front door and shuts it firmly behind her, resting against it for a moment.

Hanging up her red leather coat, she spots the handcuff key on its chain, right where she left it. She chuckles and slips her boots off, settling down on the sofa with her phone to send a quick message.

MySaviour: "JGH. Dun 4 2day."

TheEvilQueen: "Congratulations on surviving another day."

Emma snorts in amusement. She'd found Regina's humour to be equally dry or dark depending on her mood.

MySaviour: "Fnd key. Bob hlpd 2."

Setting her phone down on the arm of the sofa, Emma goes into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee while she waits for Regina to respond.

After a few minutes, her phone makes a *blong* sound to notify she has a new message.

TheEvilQueen: "Yes, I imagine a bob would be quite helpful after a long day."

Emma reads the message and looks slightly confused, tilting her head. "-A- bob?" She taps out another message.

MySaviour: "Wht u mean? A bob?"

Sipping her coffee, she curls up on the sofa and fumbles for the tv remote. Flipping through the listings on Netflix, she tries to find something light to watch.

TheEvilQueen: "Bob; Battery Operated Boyfriend. Or whatever the euphemism is these days [eggplant]"

Managing not to spill coffee over herself (Regina's jokes had already cost her one tank top), Emma bursts out laughing. She'd never seen Regina use an emoji in their messages before and it was quite a surprise to see one, especially -that one-, now. Trying to get her giggles under control, Emma calls Regina.

"You rang?" Regina drawls.

"I didn't mean a bob, I meant Bob, my friend." Emma says, still trying not to giggle.

Regina's sigh could be heard though the phone. "You've named your sex toy. Why am I not surprised? Have you named your car too?"

"He's not my sex toy, he's a real guy. And you leave Matilda out of this!" Regina's throaty chuckle is all she hears before she realises what she's said.

With a groan and facepalm, Emma tries to explain, again. "Ok, fine, I've named my car. Seriously though; there's a guy named Bob. He runs the pie stall in the street market near my building and he's really friendly."

"If you say so, dear." Emma could hear the smile in Regina's voice and she's quick to try and clarify. "Not like that! He's not my type."

Sitting in her house across town, Regina is stretched out on the sofa with a glass of wine. It had been a long day and she felt she deserved some time to relax. "No? Too tall perhaps? Or too short?"

"Too male." While Regina had been mostly certain of Emma's orientation, it warmed her heart considerably to hear it out loud. Her previous flirtations with her had proven that Emma was at least interested in her to some extent.

"To the disappointment of many a young suitor, I imagine." Regina's voice is playful.

"Yeah." Emma snorts in agreement before she realises something. "Hey wait, did you just imply I'm attractive?"

"Not in so many words, dear." Regina neatly tries to cover her mistake with sass.

"You so just did!" Emma starts giggling into the phone.

Regina huffs and adjusts her legs after one threatens to fall asleep. "I think you're getting delusional, perhaps you should see someone about that?"

Seeing an opportunity, Emma grabs it with both hands; her tone is almost innocent. "Oh Nurse Mills, I need some therapy..." Almost, in that a grey shirt is almost white under the right conditions.

"That would be Doctor Mills, thank you. I have degree, after all."

Oops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Somewhere in a house in England, a cellphone pops a notification: "You've got Kudos!" The owner of the phone shrugs, thinking someone has liked her work. Several seconds later, she's spilt her tea at seeing just how many kudos her work has received.*
> 
> Seriously though, thank you to everyone that's left Kudos... all 100 of you!


	5. In which things get warmer

Clad in mail and a green tunic, Emma the Brave looked at the forked path in front of her. A wooden signpost erected to direct lost travellers was looking weathered but still stood. One arm pointing to the left read 'Fl1rt [heart]', while the other pointed right and read 'Let 1t g0 [snowflake]'.

Hitching up her baldric, Emma draws her sword. With sunlight glinting off the Swan engraved on her raised shield, she sets off determinedly down the left path. "For Queeny!"

The scene disappears in a cloud of white smoke to reveal her apartment.

Emma smirks, dropping her voice deliberately into a lower register. "Why 'Doctor' Mills, are you flirting with me?"

"No?" Regina's tone made it sound more like a question.

Stretching her legs out to rest on the coffee table, Emma gets more comfortable. "You don't seem sure. Anything you wanna tell me?"

She gets an aggravated huff in response. "Aww, don't be mad. Actually, no wait, go ahead; you're cute when you're mad."

Regina growls at her through the phone. "I am. Not. -Cute-!" Henry gave her the classic head-tilted in question before he realises nothing's wrong and slumps back down again.

"If you say so, but you can't change my mind." Getting another growl, the tiniest little shiver works its way down Emma's spine and she clenches onto her phone in her hand. She leans back on the sofa, resting her head on its back as she closes her eyes.

"So Doc, what'cha wearing in this little scene?"

"I hardly think that's an appropriate topic of conversation." Regina sniffs, fidgeting a little on her sofa.

Emma's smiles as she focuses on Regina's voice in her ear. "Afraid you'll get me all hot under the collar? I'm sure I can handle it."

"You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions, dear." Regina says sweetly.

Managing not to choke on thin air, Emma splutters before she laughs quietly at her. "Besides, we wouldn't discuss this sort of thing until at least the second or third date."

Sitting up quickly, Emma's eyes snap open. "D-does this mean we could have a first date?" Her attempt at nonchalance falls a little flat.

"Are you asking me out, Em-ma?" Emma bites her lip as she mumbles back "You're doing that thing with your voice again."

Regina's voice just chuckles deeply in her ear and it worms its way straight down her spine. "And what is it I'm doing, Em-ma?"

"Gah! That! It's soo distracting and totally unfair." Emma exclaims.

Laughing playfully, Regina backs off a little. Evil Queen 1, Emma the Brave 0. "You still haven't asked me the question, dear."

Staring up at the flaking paint on her apartment ceiling, Emma takes a deep breath. "Will you go out with me, Regina? I mean, out on a date."

"Oh Em-ma, I thought you'd never ask."

~~~~~~~~ SQ ~~~~~~~~

Their first date was to be almost a week later... Five days, fourteen hours and nineteen minutes later, not that Emma was paying that close enough attention to it. Not at all. 

Emma's guide to preparing for a date: 

Step one; shave what can be shaved, wax what can be waxed. Step two; scream in pain and try to remove the now shredded backing paper from the wax strips that are still firmly attached to your legs. Step three; shower and get soap in your eyes. Step four; dress appropriately for the occasion, swapping out anything you manage to spill a pre-date coffee on. Step five; apply make-up sparingly. Step six; leave on time, not ten minutes after you planned.

Whilst it was considered a classic, her bright yellow original VW Beetle was definitely showing its age as it laboured up the drive in the afternoon sun. With a tortured scream of metal, Emma manages shut the door on her car and arrives barely on time at Regina's house just before their agreed time of two o'clock.

Leaning on the wall for support, she tries to get her breath back as she presses the doorbell. She definitely needs more exercise.

A loud bark is heard before the door opens to reveal a goddess in grey. Gulping, Emma suddenly feels underdressed in her black jeans and fitted blue shirt.

"You made it, and on time no less." Regina's outfit of a close-fitted grey sleeveless dress, blood red belt and tall black stilettos has Emma lost for words.

Waving a hand in front of the blur that is Emma's face, Regina tries to attract her attention. "Hello? Earth to Emma? If you're having a stroke, just grunt, dear." 

Blinking and shaking her head, Emma finally gets herself together. "Hi. You look wonderful."

Regina steps aside to let the blonde enter. "Come in for a moment, I'll need to make sure Henry has food and enough water before we leave."

"He's not joining us today?" Emma looks curious as Regina wanders into the kitchen.

Regina smiles warmly, her voice carrying back to the hall. "Not today dear, I'm trusting you to guide me. Though I will bring my cane." She hated using that cane, but she hated the nasty comments she received when out with Henry more.

"You gonna spank me with it if I misbehave?" Regina just chuckles as her heels click back into the hallway. "Not that sort of cane, dear. Though why am I not surprised that was your first thought."

Using her the tips of her fingers, Regina homes in on umbrella stand next to the front door and plucks out the bright white cane. "While not particularly fashionable, it will have to do." She says while holding out her elbow for Emma to take.

Emma's hand is soft and warm on her arm. "But you totally rock the sexy blind woman look." Her comment earns her a playful smack. "Less of the blind if you please, my eyes aren't quite that bad yet." Before it could dampen the mood, she adopts a regal posture and continues. "Now lead me to my carriage."

The "Yes, your Majesty" is rewarded with a cackle.

~~~~~~~~ SQ ~~~~~~~~

Securely strapped into their seats, Emma sets off.

"So where are we going, dear?"

Attempting to be smooth and mysterious, Emma smiles and simply says "It's a surprise."

"Oh good, I hate surprises." Emma chuckles at Regina's snarky reply. "It won't be that bad, I promise."

Tilting her head, Regina considers the places the blonde is likely taking them to. 

"Hm... please tell me it's not the cinema. As much as I enjoy the dialogue and deep bass sound effects, staring at a blurry screen for two hours isn't much fun for me. It's like watching amoeba mate."

"Nice try, but nope." Emma pops the 'p'.

Regina considers a few more options. "Oh no... Don't tell me it's karaoke?"

Emma just laughs. "I wouldn't be that cruel; no one should have to listen to my singing."

Lightly tapping her nails on handle of the cane, she tries to think of something else Emma has planned. After a few minutes more, she attempts reverse psychology. "You don't have to tell me."

"Yeah, you're right, I don't have to." Emma 1, Regina 0.

"Is it something you've googled?" A playful curse from Emma has her cackling again. Score one-all.

"You're not... uh... allergic to anything are you?" Emma's confidence is under assault by a sudden attack of nervousness.

Regina looks amused. "No dear, only stupidity. Then I break out in sarcasm. Why?"

"Uh, no reason. None at all... Well, we're here."

Pulling into the parking lot, Emma parks up and hurries round to escort Regina from the car. Gently tucking Regina's arm onto her elbow, she guided her to the entrance. 

"Hi there! Welcome to..." Quickly holding up a finger to her lips and winking at the clerk to stop her giving away where they were immediately, Emma purchases two tickets. Getting a big thumbs-up and a smile, the clerk let them in. "Enjoy your visit guys."

From what Regina's senses were telling her, they were still outdoors but there was an abundance of fragrances and a riot of different coloured blurs all around her. 

After several long minutes adjusting to everything, they finally move past the entrance. Clenching her fingers tighter around Emma's arm as they step forward, she finally asks "W-where are we?"

"The botanical gardens." Emma's reply is quiet, unsure if she'd seriously screwed up by bringing her here. Regina's vision was still a touchy subject for the brunette and she'd stopped dead on entering.

"Oh Emma... It's... It's wonderful!" Using her cane, Regina moves quickly along the concrete path, following her nose. Evidently heels were no obstacle despite the uneven floor.

Catching up with her, Emma just smiles as Regina darts amongst the plants with an almost child-like glee. "Oooh this is wonderful, come here quick!... You have to smell this!.. Ughh, avoid this one like the plague..." It was probably a good thing Henry was safe at home, the poor guy would have been dragged from pillar to post. 

While she couldn't see them in detail, Regina could make out the colours of the different plants and begged Emma to write down some of the ones she loved the most. Hardly about to refuse, Emma snapped a photo on her phone and captioned it with the name of the plant. Several times she managed to capture Regina in the frame, cupping a flower to her nose and smiling brilliantly.

After almost an hour's wandering they took a break on an elegant wrought-iron bench. "Ok, so I do have a confession to make." Emma begins. "You were absolutely right when you said I'd googled what to do for our date."

For her part, Regina looks a little flushed but oh-so happy and she chuckles at Emma. 

"Nobody's perfect, dear. Trying to find things to do that don't involve actually seeing things -is- a little tricky." 

She reaches out to take Emma's hand, squeezing it tenderly, her expression thoughtful. "You know, I think this is the first time someone actually took the trouble to think about what a date is like from my point of view. That means a lot to me."

Emma smiles and squeezes back. "I was so worried I'd screwed up."

"Not yet dear, though the afternoon is still young." Emma playfully huffs in annoyance at her. "Oh my, has a big bad wolf replaced you? Should I be worried?" The Mills-brand sass has tested to be better than the next nearest competitor on the market.

Chuckling they both stand and continue to explore the gardens. 

~~~~~~~~ SQ ~~~~~~~~

While Regina took a small detour to powder her nose in the restroom, Emma made a beeline to the on-site shop. After a short discussion on the plants that Regina had liked the most, as confirmed by the photos on Emma's phone, she makes a purchase to be collected on their departure.

Walking back to the bench they'd sat on before, she was unpleasantly surprised to find Regina wasn't alone. A young dark-haired guy was evidently trying to use his charms on her and not having much luck.

"I'm sure you're a lovely young man, but I am simply uninterested." Regina's voice could be the sweetest thing to hear, or cut as viciously as glass. At the moment, it was relatively even but rapidly losing ground in the tug-o-war towards annoyance. 

"But, why can't you *bang*... can't you just *bang*... just give me a *bang*... Would you mind not doing that, please?"

Regina was holding her cane upright and letting it clack loudly against the floor every time he was speaking, breaking his flow.

"Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?" The Evil Queen was evidently living up to her name. "Besides, I'm waiting for..." She breaks off as she spots Emma. "There you are, dear."

"Meet Emma, my girlfriend." Managing not to trip over her own feet at that, Emma almost gracefully collapses onto the bench next to Regina. To make her message abundantly clear, Regina pulls her closer and rests her arm around the back of Emma's ribs. 

Heart threatening to break free of her chest, Emma's smile looks a little plastic as she does the same with her own arm.

"Oh... uh.. yeah, sorry, I didn't... uh... realise... have a good one!" The guy all but sprints away. 

Neither of them move for several moments, unwilling to be the first to break the little bubble they'd found themselves in.

Taking the plunge, Emma speaks hesitantly. "So, girlfriend, huh?"

"Too soon?" Regina chuckles at her. "No! Yes... maybe?" Emma is nervous. "Whilst I said it to get rid of the idiot, I was hoping that we were going to be more than friends one day. We are on a date after all."

"I... I'd like that too." Relaxing her posture, Emma leans into Regina a little more, encouraged as she does the same in return. 

They continue to sit there until much later, when there is a polite cough of the woman from the front desk. "Sorry, it's closing time soon guys, we have to shut up early today. As much as we like you here, please don't become permanent fixtures."

On their way out, they collect Emma's purchase.

"I didn't get you anything when I picked you up, because I knew there'd be no chance a florist could compare with where we were going, so I got you something now." Emma holds out the bag to Regina.

Nestled inside, a sheet of bubble wrap and cellophane is wrapped in a tube around a potted orchid; Oncidium Sharry Baby, aka The Chocolate Orchid. 

"You really seemed to like that one; it smells of chocolates and I couldn't resist. Oh hey, what's wrong?" Emma looks alarmed at seeing Regina's eyes fill with unshed tears.

Just about managing to keep the orchid from hitting the floor, she has her arms full of Regina as she hugs her tightly.

"No one's taken the time to notice my likes before, not even the little things like which flowers I prefer. Not everyone likes being given a bunch of lethal weapons, sorry, I mean roses."

Putting on the worst Humphrey Bogart accent she can, Emma tries to make her smile. "Shtick with me kid, I'll treat you real swell."

Sniffling a little, but smiling nonetheless, Regina gives her a playful swat on the arm as they drive off. "You goof."

"Made you smile, it was worth it."


End file.
